Tomorrow Is Another Day

I always come back to this blog and I write on how I am going to blog more often yet somehow, I never do it. While I admit to be guilty of procrastination at times, this is not the reason I suspect that this continues to happen. Aside from the hectic schedule that I have, I think that maybe if I put these thoughts and ideas into print and document them then that somehow commits me to whatever I have written. Maybe its a fear of being held to something such as me writing I'm going to get to the gym more yet not having the time. Or maybe I have too damn much on my plate. I don't really have the answers but I am going to try an exercise in discipline.

Once a week from this point forward I am going to update this blog with whatever I feel I want to at the time. Being that I am focused on this next Gecko album most of it will center around that. I am going to try and be consistent more so than worry about whatever the content of what I add is so we will see how it turns out. And if not, then hey. Tomorrow is another day right? LOL

Anyway, as for what's going on with me right now, Tha Gecko Brothas are getting ready to do the Emcee To Emcee" which is a showcase put together by H2C2 and Ralph McDaniels of Video Music Box fame. I hope you can make it through.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow...

2 Months after Xmas and 3 weeks before my birthday and we are in the midst of a snowstorm like none we've seen in a minute. I think its a metaphor however, as things fall into place around me.

I had the pleasure of stopping 3 Hispanic kids from jumping a younger brother today. It was some real BS and I wouldn't have gotten involved except for three reasons. One, the kid was going for his and was outnumbered. Two these kids were Hispanic and this was a young black kid. It has nothing to do with being a racist but the reality is that in on the block I grew up on, as a black man you don't let a bunch of Hispanic kids jump one of your own. Cats would look at me suspect for letting it go down like that. Lastly, years ago that kid was me. I spent a good amount of my time in middle school fighting against the local Latino gangs and they were notorious for trying to jump somebody. So it wasn't going down like that. If they were gonna shoot the one, fine but it wasn't gonna be a 3 on one situation.

So as I found myself telling them to chill one kid steps in front of me acting like he has something to say about it. As I told him I was a grown-assed man and would slap fire out of him and that he should be easy about it, other people who were there got involved too. This broke up the situation and the kids walked off. The kid they tried to jump got a few bruises but not what it would've been had no one been there to stop it.

So what does this have to do with falling snow you ask?

Anyone who knows me knows that I have progressed past a lot of things in my life. Violence being one of them. However like anyone who has moved on life, it is easy to fall back into old patterns and habits. This applies to everything from workplace behavior to how you deal with your family. We are all guilty of falling off the wagon every now and then. Normally I beat myself up for stepping backwards into old ways. It is not "grown man behavior" to engage in street fighting and I know this. I would be lying though if I said it didn't feel good though to clench my fist in preparation to try and knock someone's head off their shoulders. What felt even better is not having had to. Maybe I saved a kid from getting severely hurt tonight or maybe for my own selfish reasons I involved myself in a situation that had nothing to do with me hoping to let off a little steam. Who knows and who cares.

Deeper than that though is the understanding that sometimes we all will regress and It will be okay. Trying to walk around acting like you've got wings sprouting out of your back all the time is unrealistic. I put a lot of effort into trying to do right by everyone around me. Tha old ways that we fall back into may be learned patterns that protected us at times in our lives so they can't be all bad. And when you encounter situations that make you wanna revert into being the person you used to be do you always have to take the high road? Maybe, but I am human and far from perfect so I will have my moments. Not being harsh on myself after is the hard part. Tonight though, I'm okay with it.

I think like everything in life it is about balance. I do a good job balancing the person I have to be versus the person I want to be but sometimes... Sometimes you just gotta do you and let the shit fall where it may. I got a lotta shit falling around me right now but let it snow. Eventually snow melts and the bullshit drifts away. Just try not to slip and bust your ass in the process and you'll be alright.